“We are the blind leading the blind right now- bound to hit a few trees but we will make it through the forest.”
-LV
I’d love to take credit for this quote. In therapy, I use a lot of analogies, so it shouldn’t have surprised me that this quote comes from a friend who also works in mental health. After I passed through wishing I had thought of this one, I began to think of the symbolism of analogies, and how they can be applied to so many different situations.
Everyone in this world continues to be affected by COVID-19, each of us at different levels and in a variety of ways. I don’t actually subscribe to the often echoed belief that “we’re all in this together”, as we know the statistics of how communities of color and lower socioeconomic status have been affected disproportionately. But, as the pandemic continues to shake up our routines and expectations, and parents continue to make decisions amidst a never ending series of changes and impossible expectations, my friend’s quote feels especially relevant.
This quote was from a text thread; specifically, it’s from a conversation between childhood friends that has sustained us throughout COVID anxiety, babies born during quarantine, anniversaries, losses, and now returning to school. We’re all figuring out how to be effective moms, humans, and friends while the world around us churns.
But...truly, how different is this experience of impermanence and fluidity, hybrid versus remote, complicating parenting, and questioning what is right to keep your family safe, from the thousands of decisions any of us have made in our lifetimes?
Maybe we’ve been running along blind this whole time, with the structures and expectations just illusions.
It turns out, the common thread along this text group, that I am so very grateful for, is the unconditional compassion that is given and received. My friends have compassionate souls, and we have generously given that to each other throughout our lives, whether it’s supporting a choice to send our children to in-person schooling, or to break up with that no-good boyfriend from back in the day. Now, more than ever, mothers need compassion from other mothers. But what would it look like if we all gave that compassion to ourselves as well as each other? How much needless suffering could we prevent?
What other time, if not now, for us to offer ourselves compassion for the choices we make?
Compassion, of course, doesn’t mean that we don’t hold ourselves and others to a higher standard, but rather that we connect without judgment, before we go all “mean girl” on ourselves or others.
We all have moments of walking blind in this life, and life is that forest. Let’s all try to be kinder with ourselves throughout this journey, and when it’s hard to see, let’s hope we have such gracious friends to lead the way.
Seek out your support network, gather your coping skills, and know your squad, but also have your own back. No life is without a bump, or hitting a few trees, especially lately.
That’s it, I’m stealing her analogy. It’s such a good one.